Try Everything

How often do you “encourage” your neurodivergent child to try something new? Whether food, a new hairstyle, an activity, just anything? Yes, routines are super important. But I’d argue that new experiences are as well.

@zulekha03 (@zulekhawilliams on TikTok) recently took her son boating and in the caption of the video she shared “I don’t know what he will enjoy if we don’t try.” And I could not agree more.

This is the embodiment of “Having Meltdowns & Making Memories”. It’s acknowledging that your child sees the world differently so as the parent, you have to be prepared for the “fall out”. But you’re not going to let the fall out stop you from just trying.

That was me today. I told Clifford about percussion camp last week. He has limited experience with drums but loves music, so, why not. We talked about a little each day. And even though he got up, got dressed, got in the car, drove to the location, with ZERO pushback, once we were there….he was not having it.

His behavior started small. Repeating over and over that he didn’t want to do it and that he wanted to leave. Once he saw that wasn’t working, he escalated. His language continued to increase. He began banging his body on the door. But I didn’t let up! I pulled him to the side and had what I call a “quiet conversation” and I told him that I understand you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious because you don’t know how this experience is going to be. But everything is going to be fine. I then waited until his body was back to a calm state. And then I just stared him down 😂 Eventually he said “FINE!” Got up, and walked to where the class was happening.

Obviously from the videos posted to my instagram (@parentinginbliss), he had a

phenomenal time. And when he left, he immediately asked “are we coming back tomorrow?” Hunny, A WIN IS A WIN!

So, if you’re interested in trying something new, here are a few tips I suggest:

1. DO IT FREE. I do not recommend paying for an activity that you just don’t know how your kiddo will respond to. ESPECIALLY if it’s on a term basis. It's stressful enough mustering up the courage to "just go". And added layer of feeling like you wasted your money does not help. Get creative. There are workshops and people and organizations providing programming for all children. Do not let the fact that your child needs added supportive stop you from allowing them to engage.

2. PRE-PREPARE. Talk about it. Watch videos. See what they know already. Let them get their questions out. It lessons the built up anxiety around trying something new. Then, after you have completed the mental gymnastics, ask yourself "what accommodations will my child need?" and then plan for those. A diagnosis of any kind does not mean that one can't do it. It just means that it's going to take a little bit more to reach a realistic goal.

3. REMAIN CALM. Listen, this experience is not at all about you. Be patient and let your child go at their own pace. You are there to just try it. You're not there to be the best or to even master a skill. You are there to be there. Uphold your standard (WE ARE DOING THIS!) but do not get frustrated because the experience feels different.

4. REMAIN SHAMELESS. So what if people stare! This moment is about YOU AND YOUR CHILD. Be the support they need to experience life on their time and in their way. Often times we stay home because of how we might inconvenience everyone else around us. They'll get over it! Be present. EXIST!

I truly hope this inspires you to just do it. Do it through the meltdown. Make the memory. It is always so rewarding in the end because all children deserve joyful experiences.

The next time the opportunity comes along for you and your child to go, GO. Don't let anything stop you. There are always a million and one reasons why you shouldn't do something. As a parent, you only need one to make it happen.

With Love. 💜💛