Transitions

At some point this month, I will have to attend my sons last annual ARD for his primary years in education in preparation for his transition to Middle School. Talk about a major life change. He is not the only one in the house feeling anxious these days. I mean, it's one thing to sit in an ARD with a team of people that have worked with your learner for years, so they know his needs. It's an entirely different task to attempt to leverage that committee to put a plan in place that you have to entrust a group of strangers with to implement for the sake of your child's success. I mean, what if they don't understand him? What if they aren't able to build a relationship with him? What if they become understaffed? What if they are brand new and just incapable?! I AM STRESSED!

And of course, being the cancer that I am, I have also decided that after 10 years in education, I am ready to experience something new. My first five years in education, I focused on turn around work in two of the most difficult schools in my school district. I worked long hours and I sacrificed a lot of life so that communities could experience lasting impact of change. But chile, I'm tired. And as much as I have loved my career and felt fulfilled in my career, I want to be more available to my son in this next chapter of his life. So, I have updated my resume and I am aggressively searching and applying for new opportunities that will provide the work-life balance that I desire.

Now, when I presented the idea of leaving my campus to my mother, she was mortified.

"Clifford is going to a new school, a new grade, AND then you're going to have a new job?" she screamed through the phone. "Just sit still!"

And I mean, she is kind of right. Currently, my job is very understanding to my son and his needs. Any time I need to leave, there are no questions asked. In January, I know I missed a day every week due to emergency doctor's appointments but I didn't have any rebuttals. So yes, sitting in my current role for another year or two through my sons transition to middle school made sense.

But my spirit said "NO."

"It's going to be fine Mom. I am doing this."

Now where I got all of that confidence from? I have no idea! But I said what I said and I meant it. The next morning, I sent her my updated resume and all this week, she has been sending me links to jobs.

As stressful as transitions are, they present a beautiful opportunity that forces you to reflect in the space between what has passed and what's to come. And it happens so naturally.

Just as a little caterpillar, unconsciously building its cocoon. Not knowing the beauty that lies ahead. This space of time can present a level of anxiousness that can blind us or distract us from realizing our true purpose.

I have accomplished so much in this first phase of my life. I'm comfortable. I know what to expect. But in this waiting phase of what's to come, if I choose to focus on the uncertainty, the process will become daunting.

Instead, now that I have made the decision that, yes, I am doing this! Clifford will transition to a new school and a new grade, and I will transition into a new career with new purpose, I choose to believe and accept that everything will be fine. No wavering.

And yes, for me, it is about faith. This time of wait, is the most critical. I have been spending a lot of it physically alone but spiritually in the presence of God. I have been clear about communicating my desires and my needs as to connect my intention with opportunity. Jobs on jobs on jobs have been coming way! Jobs that I am qualified for.

"But Lord, where do you need me?"

In this, I have found confidence, peace and understanding. I am not as worried as I was at the start of this year. I have found the words to begin talking to my son about what his transition will look like. I have found perspective in that maybe it won't just be a school of convenience, but the school of God's choosing. Through my obedience and intentionality, I can trust that wherever my son may land next year, the right people will be put in position to serve both him and I so that he may continue to succeed. As this is God's will. I am no longer anxious, but EXCITED! Because God yes, I am ready for whatever you ask of me.

I can no longer allow my current circumstances to determine my future fate. When spirit says "MOVE", guess what...

And listen, it might be that I do all this planning and preparation to transition, and I'm kept right where I am and my son continuous on to the school near mine. I wouldn't be upset about it. The point is, I am ready. And where I am not, I am preparing. I am ready to embrace whatever lies ahead for my home.